Who Needs to Be a Millionaire?

We tend to take it for granted that it's a good thing to be a millionaire. There is even a song and a popular quiz show called "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" Certainly, there's no harm in it. And it must be very nice to be able to go out and literally buy nearly anything you want. Very few things cost more than a million pounds. My favourite thing is a Strawberry Cream bun and a cup of coffee available on the Avenida de Mijas in Fuengirola for 2 euros. Imagine how many of those I could buy with a million pounds! And I know, these days, mansions cost the earth. Perhaps a million might not even be enough for the house of your dreams. But ask yourself this? Do you really need to live somewhere that has 58 rooms? That's like moving into a hotel and asking all the other guests to leave. How lonely would that be? Imagine the fun you would have in the bar after dinner - dah, none! So why bother. Settle into a nice two up two down in a quiet village near Stratford upon Avon and save yourself about £800,000.

If you are a millionaire, I want you to start being honest with yourself. Is there really anything your gas guzzling four by four can do that I can't do in my Peugeot 307. Oh come on! When was the last time you went up Kilimanjaro? Think about it, these days a little runabout like my Peugeot, secondhand of course, will cost you around £5000, never mind the cheaper running costs. You've just saved yourself £50,000 at least. You know it makes sense. If you can continue to save money in this way, you would be surprised to learn that it is easy to get by with less than a £100,000 in the bank. I know it's hard to believe, but some people manage it.

And think of all the perks! You no longer need as much insurance or so many accountants. You can sack the cleaner (who's nicking your jewellery anyway) because your house will be small enough for you to clean yourself (it's easy once you've tried it a couple of times). Also, take your own kids to school instead of paying for taxis. That way you can learn their names.

I don't know how many millionaires there are in the world but there must be ten million at least. Perhaps even a hundred million. I want to make a proposal. See if every millionaire tried to get by on just £100,000 and gave the rest away, in £100,000 lots, imagine how many happy people they would create. You could be one of them. We can organise a soccer tournament to decide who gets the money! For those millionaires who struggle psychologically with this, we can arrange free trauma therapy. After all, this is a civilised world we live in.